I met her on the highway in Shelbyville outside Fresno at a truck stop in a jail cell in a nightmare incognito in a treehouse online at school in September at McDonald's riding in a car wrestling gators all hunched over visiting relatives .
I can still recall that purple dress that little hat the stolen goods that plastic nose that creepy smile the hearing aid that boa constrictor she wore.
She was crying at the toll booth drinking Dr. Pepper weighted down with Twinkies complaining about acne crawlin' through the prairie smelling kind of funny crashing through the guardrail chewing on a hangnail talking in Swahili drowning in the quicksand in the twilight by the off-ramp near Tullahoma with her cobra with a band with Miss Piggy
and I knew she'd bought her dentures in a store. that she would be a crashing bore they'd hate her in Baltimore it was a raven, nothing more I'd have to pick her off the floor what strong deodorants were for that she was rotten to the core that I would upchuck on the floor ;


I promised her I knew deep down She asked me if The judge declared My Pooh Bear said I shrieked in pain The painters knew A Klingon said My hamster thought The blood test showed Her teacher said I'd help her read her books stay a friend hate her dog pick my nose play "Go Fish" fish forever;
She said to me our friendship would never die man wasn't meant to fly that Nixon didn't lie her basset hound was shy she'd have a swiss on rye she loved my one blue eye her brother's name was Ty she liked "Spy vs. Spy" that birthdays made her cry she couldn't stand my tie ;
But who'd have thought she'd run off wind up boogie yodel sky dive turn green freak out blast off black out bobsled cry being my best friend on a surfboard on "The Gong Show" at her dentist as a robot at her health club in a Maytag
You'd think at least that she'd have said I never had the chance to say She told her friend Grace to say I now can kiss my credit cards I watched her melt away and sobbed She freaked out on the lawn and screamed She sealed me in the vault and smirked goodbye.