16 Grants

Sung to Sixteen Tons

B. Binder

Some reviewers say your grant's pretty good
Others say it's no better than firewood
Firewood or good, fair or fund away!
Is the reviewer's mind weak or is it strong?

You write sixteen grants and what do you get?
Another experiment older and deeper in debt
Stockholm, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the those low grant scores

 I wrote these grants where the sun don't shine
I'd be better off drinking a lot of beer and wine
I wrote sixteen grants with number one goals
And the granting agency says "let the dice roll"

You write sixteen grants and what do you get?
Another experiment older and deeper in debt
Stockholm, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the those low grant scores

If you see my grants comin, don't make comments snide
Just evaluate them and know that I tried
One goal is golden, the other not bad
If the first grant don't get you
The other fifteen will

You write sixteen grants and what do you get?
Another experiment older and deeper in debt
Stockholm, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the those low grant scores