What constitutes a Southern Haiku? It's a haiku poem (usually 3 lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively) that addresses a Southern topic, and preferably, is only a "correct" haiku if one or more of the words is pronounced with a Southern accent.
For example:
A dead 'possum
Mercedesed marsupial
I know what's for lunch!
is a southern haiku because the first line only has five syllables if "dead" is pronounced in the Southern fashion: "dey-ad."
What follows is an un-censored archive of the best Southern haiku known to man. (Actually it is all of the Southern haikus that my family and friends have sent me--but what's the difference?) Do you have a submission? If so, email me with it.
Possums in the trash
Bad to jump and hiss and grin
Pappy, get the gun!
--Lynn Landry 5-98
We's a birthin'
n' a-fornicatin' and
a-dyin', all. Yep.
--Bill Landry 5-98
Hey bro, I like that.
Happy friday goof off day
weekends almost here
--Carole Morton 5-98
Family Reunion
Relatives from all over
Play spin the bottle
--Phillip Daves 5-98
[ In the submission below, "grits and "ham" should be read as
"gree-its"
and "hey-um", respectively].
Grits and corn bread
Country ham, scrambled eggs:
Breakfast is ready!
--Nathan Robertson 11-98
Messa missin' teeth.
Od truck on blocks in th' yard.
Mah kinda woman!
--Ray DeGennaro 8-99
Pig lips on the grill
And watchin' real good auto racin'
If'n only I had cable
--Ken Cyree 5-2000